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Does our mental health matter in our relationships? Mental health has a lot of stigma surrounding it. Like other aspects of life that are little understood or talked about, there are common misconceptions and prejudice. People don’t like to admit they need help. Often it’s because they are afraid of not looking strong, being seen as less in the eyes of others, or admitting that there is a problem. So it’s common for people to ignore it but ignoring it can have some strong implications for the longevity of our relationships.
Levels of mental wellbeing are something that can be easily hidden as well as something that can be challenging or difficult to address when people do acknowledge a problem. So it becomes easier to just ignore or look the other way when it comes to mental health.
Attitudes like that have contributed to the stigmatization of mental health because it leaves people with only the image of extreme cases. Cases when the problems have mounted up so much to the point where a person isn’t able to function anymore. Where they can’t hide it anymore. Where they’ve hit the point where it can no longer be ignored and therefore is finally seen and acknowledged as an issue.
No one should ever have to experience that point. Let me say that again. No one should ever have to experience that point. Like so many areas of our health, early intervention can completely alter the outcome for someone.
Think about other types of health, such as physical health. We do not leave an infection or disease until the last possible stage to treat it. If we did, people would die in record numbers or suffer such damage that they would never be the same. Imagine a doctor telling someone that the cancer they have is really small and hasn’t hit Stage 4 yet so they don’t need to worry about it, that it’s only worth worrying about when the symptoms are really debilitating. Sound ridiculous? It’s because it is! If a person has a disease, we treat it at the earliest identifiable stage for the best possible outcome. Our mental health really shouldn’t be any different.
Mental health and wellness are incredibly important but sadly not something a lot of people take seriously. Now you may be wondering what does this have to do with relationships? What makes mental health an important topic in sex ed?
Our mental health and well being is key in how we handle stress, how we respond to conflict and disappointments, how resilient we are, how we process trauma, and how we process information and experiences. And these things are just the tip of the iceberg. It is a huge part of our lives and has massive impacts on how we interact with people. How we interact with people is the basis of how we form and maintain relationships. It plays a role in the overall health of our relationships too.
If someone is struggling with their mental health, they may face more challenges in good communication with their partner, they may be more likely to be fearful, suspicious, anxious, depressed, or angry when things happen in their relationship. This should not be interpreted that people who are struggling with their mental health shouldn’t be in relationships or anything of that sort. It’s just a reality that people who are struggling will react very differently than someone who is not facing that same struggle.
Just like someone who has experienced past trauma may react to things differently because of that trauma experience. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Experiences can make us wiser and help us avoid trouble just as much as they may cause trouble for us. That’s why context and awareness are really critical. We need to be aware and honest with ourselves about what struggles we may be experiencing and be willing to seek support when we need it. If we aren’t willing to take that step, we may end up treating people in our lives unfairly or in a way that isn’t warranted or deserved.
If we are struggling with mental health in our relationship, we should really be considering questions like
Being able to answer these questions will help you determine your needs to regain your mental balance and wellness. It’s also going to help you in that communication piece with your partner. When we are caught in the whirlwind of strong emotions, it’s really easy to lose sight of some of this kind of stuff. It can become really easy for things to spiral further out of control. Just remember to breathe, take your time to ground yourself, and then do your best to figure out what you need.
It can be really hard to witness someone we love and care deeply for struggle with anything, particularly distressing emotions. We want to be there to help. If our partner is struggling, we should consider things like
So often people don’t stop to consider these questions. A lot of us just tend to go with the flow and this can lead to some unhealthy patterns that can develop over time. People don’t even realize it’s happening until it’s too late. So as much as we are good people, and good partners, it’s important that we stop to consider what we need as well. We cannot provide good support to our partner if we are not in a good place ourselves.
A lot of this information applies to more than just our romantic relationships, it really does apply to any of our relationships whether they are romantic, platonic, or familial. All of our relationships impact our health and wellbeing regardless of what kind they are, they have an impact. They can help or hinder us. Having people in our lives that understand what challenges we are facing can give us courage. When we feel understood and heard, we tend to feel more optimistic and ready to face the next challenge.
If people in our lives don’t have that understanding, it usually makes us feel more isolated and alone. When we are already struggling, feeling this way can make everything feel more intense, impossible, or awful and just make it that much harder to conquer what we’re facing. No one gets by in this world alone and no one should have to. Humans are social beings, we thrive in social groups, not in isolation.
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