It can be hard to meet people. It can be even harder to meet someone for a more romantic relationship. Sometimes we may see someone on the street that we find attractive and that we would love to talk to. The question then becomes, should we try to talk to this person?
Engaging a random stranger on the street, or waiting for the bus, is not the best scenario. There are a lot of unknown variables. Are they in a rush? Are they having a bad day? Are they having a good day? Are they currently involved with someone? Would they be interested in talking? Are they shy? Would they speak to a stranger? Is their attention focused on something more important to them? So many unknown variables that could impact whether or not an interaction would be successful. So how should we proceed?
How To Tell If Someone is Open to Chatting
Most people wish to be polite so the majority of people won’t just say they don’t want to talk. Some people will even engage in what feels like awkward conversation because they are trying to be polite. Their responses, however, are short and they are wishing the interaction to end. They rely on us picking up on social and visual cues to leave them alone. Body language tells us a lot about where someone is at.
If a person has their headphones in, reading a book, engaged with their phone (either an active phone call or simply looking at the screen), this is usually a good clue that they are not open to talking to anyone. Many people when they are in transit take the time to give themselves some mental space. It’s a bit of quiet time throughout the day. The majority of people who enjoy this, usually don’t want it to be disturbed.
How to Initiate Successful Conversations with Attractive Strangers
If you see someone you think you want to talk to, you can try to make eye contact. If they make eye contact, try giving them a smile. If a smile is returning, take the next step and say, “hello”. The next moments will be very telling so pay attention! If the person returns the greeting but then resumes their interest in their phone, book, music, whatever they were doing before you walked up, then let it drop! They are not interested in talking or connecting with you! This is not automatically a personal slight. Remember there are a whole lot of reasons why a stranger in public may not be willing to talk. Be respectful and don’t intrude on what they are doing.
If the person disengages from their phone/book/music and makes more eye contact, you can try following up with a question. Perhaps ask them how they are or what they are reading or listening to. This can be a great conversation starter because it’s not too personal but appeals to their interests.
Continue to pay attention to their body language. Are they giving you short responses? Are they avoiding eye contact and looking around to others or the surrounding area? Is their body turned towards yours? These are social cues that their responses are only being polite and they aren’t actually interested in talking. If you’re getting these kinds of signs, politely disengage from the conversation. If they want to talk to you more, they will initiate more conversation.
Body Language is Key
Body language makes a lot of difference in most of our social interactions. It’s something that gives us deeper shades of meaning to what people are saying and how they are really feeling. Body language is not always something that is easy for people to understand and it can be impacted by cultural differences.
If someone seems like they could be uncomfortable, it is always better to err on the side of caution and give them some space. If they are just shy and want to keep the interaction going, they will take the next step and continue or restart the conversation.
If you struggle with understanding body language cues, the best way to get better is to learn more and practice. You can also sharpen your skills by trying to imagine how the other person could be feeling. Try not to focus just on how you hope they feel but the full range of possibilities of what they could be feeling.
Respecting Personal Boundaries is Key
No matter who you’re talking to, respect is totally key. Respect is one of the key foundations of any kind of relationship. Respecting someone’s personal space and privacy is very important. The more we all practice this in our daily lives, the better off the world will be. As people get better at responding to people with respect and courtesy, the quantity and quality of their relationships will start to greatly improve. How do you practice respecting boundaries in your daily life? Share this article with someone who needs it today!
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